Show us the last thing you bought.
the flip mino - just arrived yesterday....fun!
What question do you wish you'd never asked.
Submitted by cha0tic.
"is there anything i can do before i leave?"
Funny...I was going to post about this anyway. Timely Vox Hunt.
Esp
Just got a new ESP Viper 400. EMG 85 at the neck, 81 at the bridge. It's about half the weight of my old guitar (a Gretsch Electromatic Jet Pro) and the neck is a lot more comfortable. Slightly wider string spacing for my big ol' fingers but not as bulky front-to-back. The EMG 81 doesn't sound all that different than the Duncan humbucker in the Gretsch, but the 85 is just beautiful - warm and round, without much of a humbucker twang. Grover tuners, too, which are a big step up.
I'm also replacing my ancient (in music technology years) Pod Pro with Native Instruments' Guitar Rig. Amp modeling technology has come a long way in the last six years. Hooray for good guitar tone!
I know this sounds hallmark cheez-o-la, but goddamn if it isn't true. It's so easy to take so much for granted when you don't have to think about things that are really truly going on with yourself. Five years ago, I found out (in a rather crap-tacular way) that I was the lucky recipient of a chronic, as of yet not curable, and in some cases progressive, disorder (I hate the word disease - it makes me sound doomed, which I am not - what I have is not fatal, and for all intents and purposes, there are much worse things to have, so I guess I can kind of consider myself lucky). Anyway, since my first episode, which gave way to my diagnosis, I have been really lucky for 5 years - no major relapses at all, and my life has been pretty much as it was pre-diagnosis, except for the shot that I have to give myself everyday. However, back mid june, I had a relapse, which is to be expected, I guess, in my disorder. Definitely not as extreme as my initial episode, which left me bedridden, with double vision, and had me walking with a cane for a few weeks while my body completely gave me the big fuck you and sorted some personal shit out between my brain and my motor functions. As my doctor told me would happen, all of my functions returned to normal, much to my surprise, and I have been peachy since.
In enters this episode. As I stated, it is not as extreme as the last - my vision is fine, I am able to work and walk, and get out of bed, but my feet and right leg have been floating in and out of slight to insane numbness and tingling and sensory weirdness since the middle of last month. I am telling myself that it just takes time, and all of this will clear up, but I can't help but think about what if all of it doesn't? With what I have, there is always the chance of partial recovery of the episode, with lingering symptoms, which really sucks, because you won't know if they are going to linger until they go away, which can take weeks to months. But, what happens if my feet and leg feel like this forever? There are some things that are definitely a drag with these symptoms, one of them being that it gets worse when I am dancing. This does not seem like a big deal, maybe, but I love to dance with my man. It's one of the big things that we bond on - our love of the boogie down! weirdly, for the 5 years of having this disorder, i never thought about the possibility of that happening. maybe i am being extreme, but it is now hitting me that i have something that has the potential to really fuck things up.
this leads to other thoughts of what if things are progressing in the disorder? what if this is the beginning of things getting to be "un-fun" in the diagnosis. there is a big chance this is not happening, but what if it is?? the course of this disorder is unpredictable and different in every person, so it is really hard to tell what will happen as time goes on.
i am not trying to throw my own pity party, i am just putting out thoughts in my head. when i went to bed on june 14th, i had no idea that i would wake up with symptoms that would still be dragging on today. they have gotten slightly better, but even after a crazy steroid treatment of 35 pills a day for 3 days, some of these bastard symptoms are still there - what the hell!!
i am trying to not think about my crazy feet and leg, and have immersed myself in my graphic design homework and my job, but at night i think about what the future may hold, and what i should be doing now while i can, because what if things change again tomorrow morning. i have never been adventurous or into extreme sports of any kind, but i feel like there are things that i can be doing that i take for granted that may be hard for me to do sooner than i think.
chances are, i am stressing myself way too much over this episode, but you never know what life is going to throw out there at you. i am not a fan of unpredictable, and of not being able to control my life, but i have learned quickly how to adjust and deal (somewhat) with the fact that sometimes you just don't have the control you think you do. and that sucks. so i guess i just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. maybe tomorrow i will wake up and my crazy foot will be back to normal. maybe my leg will be my old leg again. then again, maybe i will just have to learn to deal with my new wacked out feeling lower extremities, and while that will really suck, i guess it's just one of those reasons that cliches are cliches, and you really shouldn't take the things you can do today for granted.
this morning i woke up at 4 am, unsure of what to do. There's been so much doing around here lately and I'm tired. We've worked tirelessly on the house for the last 7 days and last night was the first night I sat in my home, alone, in weeks. Maybe i was unsettled, like something was forgotten, but as i crawled back in bed i realized that also for the first time... everything was quiet. this isn't a quiet neighborhood and i've grown so used to listening to the laughter, the car alarms, the firecrackers that fill this area from morning to night all summer long. but at 4 a.m... there was nothing. and when i suddenly couldn't hear anything ... i strained to find something. Everything has been set into motion for a few weeks and we're down to the last of things to have done before the house is on the market. all that's on my list is to iron/hang some curtains in the dining room and mop the floors. this doesn't seem like much but if you had seen my list a few weeks ago you'd understand why even having just two more small things to do is starting to irritate me. i'm ready to close this chapter, move and move on. more than a few people have said that i should wait this market out, wait until it gets better, but i started this and it's slowly wearing me out. it's been one of the most stressful things that i've gone through and it would make any persons head spin out of control. so should i wait? no, i can't. because i'm tired and i need the noise in my head to also be silent and then, when there's silence, i will sleep comfortably with someone i love very much holding me tightly.
this is one of those long weeks - the 14 days living out of a suitcase when on day 10 I finally finish doing one load of laundry and do my happy dance because i have clean underwear. we had a whirlwind weekend starting last tuesday for my birthday. i woke up with the offer of mimosas and a gift certificate for an hour/half massage, mani/pedi and body wrap - i'm saving it for sometime when i really need such pampering. we dressed for dinner, had a lovely time on state street and just when thing were winding down in bed i reminded him there was still an hour left. next thing you know the champagne was pouring. fabulously luxurious birthday. for his birthday i booked a room at The Pfister in Milwaukee for Friday night because we'd be spending the afternoon/evening at Summerfest and ultimately at the Rush concert. This, I found out the next night at Rhythm and Booms, makes me a kick-ass girlfriend. Especially my little rendition of how Rush sounds. It involves a lot of tongue rolling I cannot demonstrate here. Visit me someday in my car and I'll be happy to give an encore.
but i can't hold back anymore.
i have been torn between feeling sympathy for amy winehouse and confusion for the decision for her to perform under her apparent health conditions, but apparently doctors and family said that wouldn't be an issue. i guess coughing up blood, detoxing and collapsing are perfect ways to prepare for a nelson mandela birthday gala and the glastonbury festival. what do i know. i thought, you know, maybe her family and doctors aren't crazy, and that they think that doing what she loves to do is important and will help her push her through her demons and make her better. call me a sucker or call me giving someone the benefit of the doubt. i like to think benefit of the doubt will win.
this will change.
amy gets let out of the hospital after being told her lungs are a mess, no emphysema, but she could easily get there and really fuck her shit up. she leaves the hospital and lights up. alert alert. funny, no one from the hospital or the family comments on this...
i have a hard time trying to justify that move. i can't even imagine wanting to light a cigarette after i have been spending a week coughing up my lungs in the form of blood sacks. again, i am not a doctor, but i am starting to feel like sucker.
amy performs at nelson mandela's bash. horray! you go amy. but wait, she what? she switched up the lyrics of Free Nelson Mandela to plea for the release of blake from his incarceration?? you have got to be fucking kidding me! i cannot think of any other way to be more completely disrespectful of a situation if i tried.
amy, you're killing me. we can't continue this relationship. we started off on a bad foot, but i came around, and felt empathy for you. you woo'd me with your voice and made me believe you were a true talent just lost in a world of addiction and just needed help to pull your shit together. i stopped blasting you and tried to take the high road and hope that you were just waiting for the help you desperately needed. people have problems, people need help, you're no different, but amy, you truly are a selfish spoiled shit. there, i said it. i will listen to your music because i do truly love it, and i will continue to sing your songs at karaoke, but no more trying to defend your asshole actions. get your fucking shit together.
